Author: dannystewart99

The Beefy Crunch Burrito has returned to us once again

“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.”

This is my 100th blog on WordPress.

While I could go down a rabbit hole of what it’s been like to run this blog for 7 years and have 100 posts, I’d rather write briefly about a victory for the Beefy Crunch Movement.

Once again and for the first time since 2018, the Beefy Crunch Burrito from Taco Bell is back. Originally introduced in 2010, the Beefy Crunch Burrito is a beef burrito with nacho cheese, sour cream, rice, and the illustrious Flamin’ Hot Fritos. Those Fritos were only available through Taco Bell for this burrito at the time, so they were a rarity.

But the best part? It was .99 cents! You couldn’t find a better deal in fast food anywhere!

This burrito was also the very first thing I had ever had from Taco Bell.

Flashback to Summer 2011: I had just graduated 8th grade and was headed into high school in the fall. I played football in high school, so part of the fun in that was getting to meet a bunch of people before school started officially in the fall. I wish I still had the same metabolism I did then, but I digress.

I got a ride home from one of my teammates and he asked his mom to pull into Taco Bell for lunch after a summer practice. I had never had Taco Bell so I didn’t know what to order or what was good. The pressure was on.

I saw the Beefy Crunch Burrito with Flamin’ Hot Fritos for .99 cents and went with it because it looked awesome and if I didn’t like it, what was .99 cents to my buddy’s mom?

Clearly, it had an effect on me because I’m writing a blog about it 12 years later.

The burrito was unfortunately discontinued in 2011, but a movement was sparked. Not just for me personally, but with tens of thousands nationwide that felt the same way.

I’ve been a loyal member of the Beefy Crunch Movement for a long time. Countless DMs, emails, letters, and posts were sent to Taco Bell. Flags, shirts, stickers, and even tattoos were made to get this burrito back on the menu.

In 2016, we achieved our first victory. While the burrito wasn’t being named a permanent menu item, we had gotten Taco Bell to bend the knee to us. We were even personally thanked by Taco Bell at the time:

While those burritos may have been why I gained the Freshman 15 in college, they were not to be forgotten. The burrito disappeared after a month-long run in the Spring of 2016. I kid you not, the run ended the week Harambe was killed.

Since then, the planet has been on a downward spiral socially, politically, and environmentally. So maybe, we should actually look into the scientific ties between this burrito’s availability and the overall health of the planet.

In 2018, it returned as a summer menu exclusive, with the potential of returning permanently in 2019:

Unfortunately, the item didn’t become a permanent menu item and they brought back the shitty Mexican Pizza instead.

Long we’ve waited once again. It’s been 5 years and while the item never became a permanent menu item and Flamin’ Hot Fritos have become available to the public, the sun would not shine brightly until the official burrito emerged from Taco Bell’s vault.

Having the Volcano items back the last couple of months was a nice throwback to 2013, but not the same as the BCB.

That agony lasted until this morning. 8/1/23: The Beefy Crunch Burrito is back. It’s an app exclusive for 2 days before it goes public on 8/3.

The sun shines brightly once again…for now. So, if you’ll excuse me, I will be inhaling a couple two, tree Beefy Crunch Burritos tonight.

Enjoy them while you can.

~DS

P.S. Thanks for reading my 100th blog and any of them that came before it!

Finding the perfect apartment is really hard

If only it were up to the flip of a coin or Odds and Evens…

I’ve come to realize that if there’s a difficulty that’s ever arose in your life, it’s happened to Larry David or Jerry Seinfeld.

Across the two TV comedies Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm, you’ll find yourself a part in the situational comedy that befalls the characters in each show almost every day, if you’re paying attention.

In the most recent case of Seinfeldian situational dilemma for me, I’ve been apartment hunting for almost three months. This was a topic of discussion in two earlier episodes of Seinfeld: Season 1’s “The Robbery” and Season 2’s “The Apartment.”

In every case of apartment I looked for, there was always something wrong with it. Bedroom too small or living room too small. Utilities too expensive or rent too expensive. Not renovated recently or coin-operated laundry. Smelled funny or the previous owner ripped cigs inside to hide a funny smell.

For those reasons or others, I couldn’t find the perfect place…until I did.

The vibes were great heading into the place. To set the scene: I had gone to a baseball game the day before, my team won a game in the 9th in walk-off fashion, the beers were flowing, and I sang blink’s Aliens Exist at a karaoke bar deep into the night. To this point, I had seen like 15 apartments, but I knew we had to have been getting to the end of the line.

I show up to the place the next morning and it’s gorgeous. Renovated last year, brand new appliances, new hardwood floors, central air, dishwasher, in-unit laundry, a parking spot, easy walk to the train, good food nearby, the works.

My roommate and I filled out applications that night. Those came with a stiff $100 application fee, but we didn’t care because the place was worth it.

Less than 24 hours later, we get denied because somebody else was willing to move in earlier. No $5000, no flip of a coin or Odds and Evens, just straight up nope. Plus, the application fee was non-refundable so I wiped my ass with $100.

I was furious. For about 20 short hours, I was done. No more Zillow, no more showings, no more odd-smelling places, just a new home.

Now, I’m rapid firing off requests to even shittier places once again. Places I know aren’t going to be as good as the place I saw.

I spent the next few days just going from showing to showing. Even walking around in the poisonous Canadian air that had made its way south for an hour to find the right place. That wasn’t even worth it because I knew I wasn’t going to find a place as nice as the one I had seen and now I have early onset Canadian breathing problems.

I had started to lose hope, so I retreated to a tradition that I love: I went to go see a movie. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny as a matter of fact. However, my poor luck continued. As soon as I got in line to grab my ritual movie snack (Buncha Crunch and a Big Cherry Coke) these three kids right in front of me grabbed the last three boxes. If the week hadn’t already been a Seinfeld episode, there you go.

I should’ve taken the Buncha Crunch as if it were a Marble Rye:

So I’m sitting in the theater watching a decently entertaining movie, but I’m fuming because I didn’t get my chocolate and I didn’t get my apartment. What’s next? Am I going to go blind? (That’s a story for another day)

But as luck would have it, I broke even.

During the movie, I had gotten a text from the owner of the perfect apartment asking if we’d still be willing to take it. I couldn’t have said yes faster. And just so we’re clear, I waited until after the movie to check my phone because WE ARE LIVING IN A SOCIETY!

Now, I’ve got the perfect apartment, I just have to get all my shit in there which I’m beginning to do today.

I wish you luck in your apartment hunt if you’re on one, you’re going to need it.

~DS