Author: dannystewart99

Tears of the Kingdom is already one of the most profound video game sequels of all-time

I haven’t even come close to beating it and I wanted to write about it

While Hogwarts Legacy cemented itself as an all-timer for me and Star Wars Jedi: Survivor is also an incredible sequel that might be the greatest Star Wars video game ever, there’s another game that has completely taken over my life this year.

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom is Nintendo’s latest and greatest addition to the Zelda saga. Building on top of the revered Breath of the Wild from 2017, it was hard to imagine this game would fail to meet expectations. I even said this in my Most Anticipated Games of 2023 blog and to little surprise, this game lived up to the expectations and then some.

I haven’t even come close to finishing the game or exploring all there is to explore in Hyrule, the skies above it, and the depths below it to crown it one of the greatest sequels in the history of video games.

I’m talking Kingdom Hearts II and Batman: Arkham City levels of great.

Everything from BOTW has been improved or expanded upon and with its new Ultrahand and Fuse abilities, weapon durability, combat, and exploration have all experienced an upheaval.

People have already come up with really creative ways to play the game. Whether it’s fighting enemies with a giant dick:

Or finding a way to complete something that took me an hour to do in less than two minutes:

This game has already made its mark on gaming history. And yes, the above Shrine quest that requires you to steal a giant green crystal and transport it to a different sky island took me more than an hour. Goes to show how two different ways can lead to the same result in this game!

The frustrations didn’t stop with me there with this game, however. And yes, you can still get frustrated with a game even though you love every second of it. I’ll just go ahead and say: Fuck these guys.

I have yet to complete a certain dungeon that supposedly gets me closer to the Master Sword because of these asshole Malice hands. They consistently pursue you, drain your health, and instantly kill you if they get a hold of Link.

Every video and guide I’ve seen online too is just like “You better hope you have bomb arrows and may the Goddess Hylia shine down upon thee.” So absolutely fuck these guys.

Other than that, I’m absolutely loving this game and I can’t wait to pour hundreds of more hours into it as I inevitably collect everything like I did in its predecessor.

P.S. Hestu is back and this is one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen:

~DS

P.S. addition as of today:

I got the Master Sword but the Gloom Hands can still go fuck themselves. Hopefully the Master Sword will make any further encounters with them a little bit easier.

The law finally got me: I got a parking ticket

The jig is up, the news is out, they’ve finally found me

Welp, after being a licensed driver for 10 years, the law finally caught up to me.

I woke up this morning after a night out with friends and we had a great time. A couple two, tree beers were had so, me and my buddy took a morning stroll over to the greatest Bagel Authority in the city of Chicago: The Chicago Bagel Authority, for a hangover cure.

A Sausage Fest Bagel with Cream Cheese, the best thing you can have after a night out

The bagel was amazing. There was nothing that could’ve brought my morning down until I discovered a parking violation stuck to my window for $75.

I assumed the risk of the parking ticket when I parked there the night before so I’m not that mad at getting the ticket. But $75 is a little stiff.

The closest parking garage was going to run me $50 and the nearest SpotHero spot that was less than $50 was like over a mile away, so that wasn’t happening either.

Normally, my buddy gives me a guest parking pass to be able to park on his street. However, the village hadn’t sent him new ones for the summer yet so I decided to wing it. Plus, I still had four of his guest passes still stuck to my front windshield so I thought maybe a quick glance by any authority figure would keep me safe.

I was obviously wrong because I’m writing this blog.

I would’ve spent the $75 on beer, food, video games, or bills eventually so I’m not mad about that. What I’m more mad about is that the sticky shit remained stuck on my window after I took the ticket off of it.

This is more irritating than the ticket itself.

That’s a crock of shit if you ask me. I’m not even kidding about that, I’m truly more upset about this than I am about the ticket. Because now not only do I have to pay the ticket, but I also need to grab some WD-40 and a rag to scrape that shit off the window without damaging it.

But there it is folks: my spotless driving record lasted a decade. 2013-2023, you will be missed.

To be honest I’m happy with myself because a decade is like a Lou Gehrig run of spotless driving. A couple of close calls here and there but they finally got me for a parking violation.

Gehrig’s record for most consecutive games played was eventually overtaken by Cal Ripken Jr., but the record stood for over 60 years, thus, I reference him.

I unfortunately can’t claim to be the luckiest man on the face of the earth like Gehrig did, but I know damn well I’ll just pay for the $50 parking garage next time. Hopefully in 2033, I won’t be writing a sequel to this blog ending this new streak of mine.

Also, I hope this doesn’t start a stretch of other violations. I’ll keep you posted because I honestly think I ran a red light today too. So I either continue a fresh streak for a decade or I spiral toward Grand Theft Auto. You’ll find out either way!

I’m going to spend the rest of my Sunday playing Star Wars Jedi: Survivor and not behind the wheel of my car. It’s the only way you and I remain safe.

~DS