It’s been a while since I’ve written anything on the blog.
What made me hop on and begin typing this evening is that the sun was out to get everybody today. Chicago is set for a real scorcher the next few days, as is the rest of the country it looks like.
When it’s hot, there are a lot of occurrences, but one of the common ones is: it’s the only possible way to break the ice during work meetings. It’s normally a frowned upon practice to discuss the weather, but this is that kind of heat where you have to talk about it. Especially since I’m already anxious about walking around in it before and after bringing it up in said meetings throughout the work day.
Because while I am a husky fella, walking a few blocks and then climbing up the steps to an L-train platform would make anyone sweat during Summertime Chi heat.
Today was that different kind of heat.
Following the anxious walk to the L-train to ensure I made it back to the Metra train station in time for my express train, I felt the sweat coming. I drink damn near a gallon of water throughout the day every day and even that hydration could not stop this heat from breaking me down to my most animalistic state.
I felt like SpongeBob as soon as he steps into Sandy’s tree dome:
I normally have anxiety about making the express train, regardless of heat, because if I miss that, there was no point in coming into the office early and the non-express train turns my commute from 40 minutes to an hour and 40 minutes. That’s not acceptable in any temperature.
All was well – I made the train in time, even with a little sweat, blink-182’s newest song All in My Head kept me as calm as I can be with all the train anxiety, Monday anxiety, and normal life anxiety that’s been creeping over as of late.
I felt like the monologues “All in My Head” (get it?) were a little louder today. I also thought it would be the two new blink songs from last week (No Fun is also a banger) that would get me to write a blog, but no. It was the damn sun – the enemy to me and my Irish ancestors for centuries.
Where were we? Ah, yes. I boarded the train.
As I made my way through the train cars, I wanted to position myself best for deboarding closest to where my car was parked at my home station to ensure a quick parking lot exit.
As I eyeball an open row in the usual car for this optimal exit strategy, I notice nobody else was sitting in the whole car. It didn’t take long for me to realize why.
The AC in this car was down and it was quite literally like sitting in a sauna. The windows were fogged up and I could really feel the sweat becoming more noticeably wet on my neck and forehead.
Even after a day like today, I was still doing my best to find the comfort in that moment. Part of the reason why I didn’t move to another car was because the last thing I wanted to do was sit next to anybody on the train. And I also know damn well that after every stranger on that train’s long Monday, the last thing they wanted was a big sweaty guy sitting next to them.
It was then I dedicated myself to suffering. But I’m well-versed in that these days:
With the looming Labor Day weekend ahead of us, I just tried to think of the positive. I put on my sunglasses and shut my eyes to try and find that inner zen.
Doesn’t it always seem that right before an extended weekend, everything is just amped up? Not necessarily in a good way, it just feels like there’s this vibe to just “get there.”
Maybe it’s the heat talking…ok, yeah, it’s definitely the heat talking. Can I just “get there” and by “there” I mean “the fuck home already?”
All I could think about on that train ride was my pool. Back in my athlete era, the pool was always an amazing respite following a summer football practice or even a good baseball game on the side of the house.
Everybody knows that scene from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Well, while Brad’s character is imagining Phoebe Cates diving into the pool and taking her top off, I was watching the scene in my head but instead of seeing Phoebe Cates, I just saw the pool. I also started to think about how good hose water tasted in the summers of my youth. Just as I started to taste that metallically cold water…
“You know you don’t have to sit in here, right?”
I was startled from my daydream by the conductor. And while this train conductor wasn’t offering a song and dance about hot chocolate, he was trying to offer me an open seat in one of the other cars.
“That’s ok, I can take it. It’ll make the AC feel better when I get there!”
He smirked and said “Suit yourself.”
Is this guy having the type of Monday where he would crank up the heat to test my willpower? Boy, it sure feels like it. And just like that, I can barely see outside the window any more from my own body heat.
About 30 minutes later, I was drenched in sweat, but also finally pulling into my home station. I was close enough to remote start my car to make sure the AC was going when I got to it.
I hopped off the train and moved hastily to my car. Other passengers who were further up on the platform were doing the same. I reached my car, not before having a real close encounter with a Suburu Forester whipping out of the parking lot with little regard for human life.
Dennis Reynolds says it better than my inner monologue could:
My car’s AC was working hard, but it was exactly how you think it was. It was just a stale heat environment; the air vents were blowing what seemed like hotter air. I lowered the air blaster and rolled down the windows.
I connected my phone by Bluetooth to the car instead of plugging it in to the car charger because I figured that might melt my phone’s internal hardware if plugged in.
I blasted one of the Skiba-era blink hits: Bored To Death and drove as fast as I legally could to get some semblance of breeze going in the vehicle. It’s a 4-minute song and the trip home is only about 4 minutes.
As my dumb, overheated brain (and pedal foot) would allow it, I pulled into my driveway as soon as the song ended. There is no greater feeling and I didn’t need to take a few laps around the neighborhood to finish the song, nor wait for whatever banger came on next to play.
I walked in the house, ran upstairs, threw my backpack on my bed like a Disney Channel Original Movie character, kicked my shoes off, slid my swim trucks on, and ran back downstairs and outside.
I made it. I climbed the ladder up to the deck, and sat down at the edge before putting my feet in. I’ve never been more excited to be greeted by cold pool water. Normally, you have to worry about a certain Costanza issue with these conditions, however, there was more at stake here.
Before fully hopping in, I sat there and just breathed for a minute. I had reached a respite. I was able to calm myself and think about the upcoming long weekend ahead. I felt the peace of the water and because I’m a nerd, I felt transported to paradise…
I dove into the pool and immediately submerged myself, swimming under the water until I felt the wall on the other side. I came back up for air and felt rewarded for my train car tolerance training. It made it all worth it.
The only thing that was missing was “the icing on the cake.” Nothing beats a hot summer day like ice cream, and my dad pulled through with a run to our local spot after I got out of the pool. A Reese’s cup and brownie sundae later, I immediately put back on the weight I sweated off on the train. Still worth it.
They say it’s going to be even hotter tomorrow and to that I say “Bring it On.”
I’m one day closer to Labor Day weekend. I’m one day closer to even further peace. I’m one day closer to not having to think about Nosy Ol’ Wally talking about the heat:
So I say this to you, my friends: stay cool out there. We all know it’s a hot one.
Find your peace in the chaos of this heat. A holiday weekend soon approaches.
~DS
The Danny Diaries 