life – The Danny Diaries

With Great Power…

A look at where true heroism comes from

I’ve taken a bit of a longer hiatus than usual to return to the blog.

As a matter of fact, for the first time in a while, writing here feels more like something I have to do rather than something I want to do.

Writing was and always will be my favorite thing to do (outside of drinking beer with loved ones), but as we all know, life has a toll.

Some days just feel heavier than others, but the heavier the day, the stronger you have to be to carry it.

When you owe your life to so many people, you have to keep fighting for them. They’re the reason you need to keep fighting.

There are many protagonists in literature, film, television, video games, and so on, that capture what it’s like to fight for good. All of us need people without superpowers to fight for good in this world of ours.

But even with superpowers, sometimes the life that we fight for every day hits harder than any super villain could.

In my return to the blog, I wanted to do a small character study following one of media’s most iconic characters. In today’s world, we need him and people like him more than ever.

Today, I must talk about Spider-Man. Not necessarily about his web-swinging or his physical strength, but his emotional strength through his alter ego, Peter Parker.

When you pick up a Spider-Man comic, everybody, of course, wants to see Spidey in action.

How will his spectacular strength take down Venom? Can his superior intellect break through Mysterio’s illusions? Will his amazing antics and quips get a laugh?

The Spider-Man persona is the idealized hero. He has the physical strength, the intellect, and the quick wittedness that everybody wishes they could have. Everybody would take being Spider-Man over their current life, hands down.

Little do they know, being Spider-Man is their life now but with the added stresses of saving countless lives, pulling your punches on murderers, and dealing with multi-universal consequences at stake.

This is the side of Spider-Man that makes him the true hero.

The trailer for Spider-Man: Brand New Day dropped a few weeks ago and it quickly became the most-watched movie trailer in history in its first 24 hours.

As a sequel to 2021’s Spider-Man: No Way Home, this film will pick up with a Peter Parker who’s dealing with the consequences of having Doctor Strange force everyone in his universe to forget who he is.

Spider-Man had to sacrifice everyone knowing Peter Parker in order to save the world. It was a massive toll, but Spider-Man had to pay that price.

In the off-screen time in between that film and Brand New Day, Spider-Man has remained a masked hero that is a hero for the little guys in New York:

But Peter Parker on the other hand, has been forced to make a new life for himself alone. He no longer has Tony Stark or Aunt May. His girlfriend MJ and his best friend Ned have forgotten about him. He’s living in a very small apartment with shared laundry space, and no living-wage career paying his bills. Peter Parker is poor, battered, and alone.

Bruised and broken with a single-unit washer/dryer to wash his suit and his key to the city left in a box on the ground, even Peter is dreaming of what it’d be like to be the Spider-Man that we all wish we could be.

People are really excited because this is the first time the MCU’s Spider-Man will be the Peter Parker that we’ve all grown to love: the Peter Parker that represents the little guys (and gals) he saves on a day-to-day basis as Spider-Man.

This Peter has been represented extremely well in modern history. Here are a few of my favorites:

Every version of Spider-Man deals with issues involving money, relationships, and morals. Each time we think it can’t get worse for Peter after losing battles in the streets as Spider-Man, he swings home to find an eviction notice under his door or opens a text from his love Mary Jane “needing to talk.”

A recent animation that’s been making the rounds online has been one of the most profoundly simple, yet, perfect adaptions of Spider-Man I’ve seen:

When we, in turn, have our worst days in real life, we’d love nothing more than to just swing away or just ignore everything. We’re tired. We’re hungry. We want to hide from the world. Our “Low Balance” Alerts or getting ghosted by the ones we love feel like knives to the heart.

Having the strength to win every battle or the intellect to create a scientific miracle would be an easy solve to our problems, right?

Wrong.

At the core of everything Spider-Man does comes these words: “With great power, comes great responsibility.”

Everybody knows these words and everybody knows they are what Uncle Ben (or sometimes Aunt May) say to a Peter Parker who believes that with his newfound strength, he is greater than the struggles of everyday life.

He’s stronger than the school bully, so he can get the girl. He’s smarter than any criminal, so he can effortlessly control crime. But is that the power that requires responsbility?

Yes, and no. Because Peter has the abilities necessary to stop super criminals, he does have a responsibility to use his powers to defeat them. However, if he has the power to wake up each day and fight no matter what’s happened to him, he has a responsibility to himself and to those that love him to try.

“I believe there’s a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble. And finally allows us to die with pride. Even though sometimes we have to be steady and give up the thing we want most, even our dreams.”

These words are just as, if not, more powerful than “With Great Power, Comes Great Responsibility.”

These words echo what it means to be human. Even Spider-Man, with all of his strength and intellect, is still a human at the end of the day. It is this human part of Spider-Man that makes him like us.

The rent will come. You’ll lose a job you love. Heartbreak will happen. Loved ones will die. These are all reasons to just give up or to move in a different direction, maybe forget who you are or what got you to this point.

Giving up is an easy thing to do. It’s always the easiest thing to do whether you’re a superhero or not. It’s getting up and trying again no matter what that truly takes tremendous strength, which makes not giving up the right thing to do. Doing what’s right is always more important than doing what’s easy.

The first 30 seconds of the Brand New Day trailer encapsulate Spider-Man to a T. His former best friend and girlfriend who he still loves have forgotten about him and they’re the “happiest they’ve ever been.”

While it guts Peter, he still has to pull down the mask and go tackle whatever nefarious deeds New York’s criminals have concocted that day. And whether Spider-Man wins that fight or not, MJ has still forgotten him, Ned doesn’t know him, and he has to go back and barely make rent in his apartment.

That’s the hero in him. That’s why he’s strong.

Spider-Man is the perfect character because he is all of us. Anybody can be the one that pulls down that mask and faces super villains. Stan Lee even said that in creating the character, anyone could be Spider-Man. We all wish we could put on the mask to face our struggles because Peter Parker makes us believe we can.

Regardless of the struggle, regardless of how many hits you take, you have to get back up. There are people out there counting on you. I’m counting on you.

Even when it feels like the hardest thing in the world to do, choose to be the hero you have inside of you.

Whether it’s holding the door for someone, getting over an old grudge, staying on the phone with a loved one even if you don’t have anything to talk about, or facing the darkest, most difficult periods of your life, just keep trying to do better.

Because even though you may not get everything you want or need in your life, life is still worth fighting for and life is certainly better with you in it.

Be Greater. Be a Hero.

Because with great power, comes great responsibility.

~DS

Doctor Wars Episode III: Return of My Money

A war that had been brewing silently for months has finally come to a head.

When I was writing my last blog about annoyances at the doctors offices and their billing processes, I didn’t know a third installment in this saga would come so soon.

The blog in question was the first time I’d ever written a sequel blog. Today, I bring you the third installment of what’s turned into a trilogy of epic proportions.

Star Wars, Back to the Future, The Lord of the Rings, and now: my ongoing battle with doctors hopefully concluded in this final installment:

EPISODE III: RETURN OF MY MONEY

The crazy eye doctor lady plays no part in this third installment. Thankfully, this story didn’t require any prayers.

The villain introduced in the last blog was the dentist and their billing process. It is them who I needed to defeat this time around.

To catch you up to speed: I got my wisdom teeth removed in August. Just before getting them removed, I had to talk down the oral surgeon from removing all four of my wisdom teeth because it was really only the bottom two that needed to come out. It was still going to cost me around $430 after insurance per tooth even after talking them down to just two teeth. I needed to checkout with Affirm to pay for my portion over time, but I did so and then the surgery occurred:

So months go by. I signed up with Affirm to make $75 per month payments for a year to pay off the surgery. Insurance confirmed the amount I had paid, paid their end, and then it was all about recovering and making the payments.

It was difficult dealing with my open mouth holes for a few weeks. I couldn’t have any real food for several days. My favorite thing to eat for breakfast (an everything bagel with cream cheese) was quite literally the very last thing I’d be able to eat.

But I persevered and am now fully recovered. However, the enemy was watching and waiting in silence. They knew exactly when to strike…

It was Christmas Eve.

A few short days following my best friend’s wedding and the Bears beating the Packers, I was running around the neighborhood making Christmas fudge deliveries for my mom.

My mom has THE best fudge recipe on the planet and it’s always a welcome Yuletide treat that’s shared in our home and in the homes of all our friends and loved ones.

Upon my return visiting old friends, I checked my phone to see that I had an email from the dentist saying that a new invoice had hit my account and that I owed another $150 from my surgery.

My heart sank and my temperature rose.

“FOR FUCKING WHAT?!” I said.

Apparently, my insurance policy max had been reached, but the insurance company was notified before the surgery what I was paying to ensure that they could cover it. I was baffled to believe that $150 had gone unaccounted.

I know I signed a bunch of bullshit saying that what I paid might not be a final amount, but the fact that they put a gun against my head before I got the procedure to pay the full estimated amount before I got anything done was pretty sketchy. Plus, now I owed more?

It felt like this:

I had taken out a loan with Affirm to pay for the procedure initially, so now the extra lollygagging charge pushed me past what my insurance could afford. And yes, $150 isn’t a crazy amount of money, but I still felt blindsided and wanted answers.

Since it was Christmas Eve and the day fell on a Wednesday, I would need to wait until Monday the 29th to call my insurance company to figure out what went on. So, I waited and enjoyed my Christmas…

After 4 to 6 days, I called my insurance company.

They were confused by this billing process and sent me a breakdown of what they were sent back in August following my procedure. It was for what the original cost estimation was sent to them, the same cost estimation that I based my Affirm loan on.

Both me and the insurance operator were very confused about where the $150 came from. They knew my policy was going to be maxed, but that was also based on the original estimated amount I owed. So we both felt like this:

It was time to go to war. A war that had been brewing silently for months had finally come to a head. The final straw was this smeckledorf billing job. I had to take action.

I tried to call the offices of my dentist initially, but since it was that weird work week in between Christmas and New Year’s, I didn’t reach anyone.

So, I wrote an email addressing all of my concerns. Here are the main points:

Why am I finding out about this nearly 5 months after the procedure?
The office manager sent me an email on July 14 saying I just needed to pay $802.30. I had to pay over time using Affirm and am still making payments for this procedure. Why wasn’t this cost given to me at the start?
When my insurance company was billed, the invoice didn’t match the original estimate/procedure cost. Why was my insurance overcharged unexpectedly and why wasn’t I notified about proper charges then? I called my insurance company and they were confused about this billing process as well.
This entire billing process is extremely misleading.
During the procedure, I had water splashed on my face and was awake during the second tooth extraction. Being charged extra for the anesthesia during surgery that I was awake for doesn’t make sense to me either.

I threw in the last bullet point because that was my declaration of war. If they could remember $150 after nearly 5 months, I could start remembering things from 5 months ago too.

I also didn’t make it up: I had water splashed on my face during the procedure which woke me from the anesthetic slumber and I was entirely awake for the second tooth extraction. I felt the clamp, I felt it break my tooth, and I felt them yank it out. While I was numb and couldn’t feel the pain of it, I still felt the uncomfortable pressure aspects of having your tooth yanked out.

So, I awaited my reply. Surely my declaration of war would ruffle some feathers and I would hear from them soon…

Flash forward to February: I still haven’t heard from them directly about my billing.

They’ve sent the same canned response about me owing $150 FIVE TIMES. To which I replied with the same questions I asked above FIVE TIMES.

They would not only send an email, but also send an accompanying text. This text and email both welcomed responses within the chains if I had any questions, but apparently not the questions I was asking. I’m curious if they would’ve replied sooner if I were asking these questions:

I tried the phone a couple of times as well, leaving voicemails each time, but it instructed me to also reach out by email, so it was just one big customer service loop nightmare.

In the fifth email, they threatened to send me to collections over $150.

I thought it was over. They had me dead to rights. Even though it wouldn’t be a criminal amount and despite it being a medical procedure, the billing company is some 3rd party company that would impact my credit score if I was sent to collections.

But, they slipped up. In the email threatening to send me to collections, they said “This is to notify you that you have an outstanding personal balance that is seriously past due and we have not received a response from you after multiple attempts.”

“NOT RECEIVED A RESPONSE FROM YOU”

It was my silver bullet. I had them cornered. It was time to send in my entire arsenal of pent up Irish anger that’s been boiling for generations.

Knowing I had phone records, texts, and emails with a paper trail, I was ready to call them out on their bullshit and go straight to a lawyer.

But because lawyers are expensive and Cicero’s own Saul Goodman isn’t available for my current predicament, I had to take this into my own hands.

I looked up what I could do before lawyering up and it appeared the best course of action was to “officially dispute” the bill. I didn’t know I could officially dispute anything, but as long as I disputed it in writing, it counts as an official dispute that would grant me legal protection in the hands of a collection agency if they proceeded with the billing while I was disputing it.

So, I sent them an email with the subject line:

FORMAL BILLING DISPUTE – REQUEST FOR CLEAR ITEMIZED EXPLANATION

This email laid out my original questions but instead of a polite “Thanks” to cap off the email, it ended with a threat of my own to contact the Illinois Attorney General’s Office, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, and the Better Business Bureau.

Now actually feeling like Saul Goodman, I felt like I needed to not only win, but hit them where they hurt as well:

Following the dispute email, I left negative reviews on their Google Business page, Facebook page, and on Yelp.

A review which you can find here and where you can also know exactly what dentist in Chicago I don’t recommend.

Following my review postings, they called me within minutes.

They apologized for the poor communication and the experience I had and waived the final $150. They asked if I’d consider taking down my reviews and I said I’d consider it.

I haven’t considered it for a second. It’s my trophy of victory. Being on the phone with them after months of bullshit and threats to my good name to collections truly felt like this:

Following the last few years of bullshit from medical professionals, I had won.

Misdiagnoses, prayer-and-scare tactics, nothing or cancer, being billed for nothing, being misled into taking out loans to pay for a procedure, having my insurance being fucked with. All of it led to this.

The war was finally over. My money was returned.

A Yub Nub celebration across the galaxy was in order for this victory and an end to a trilogy that spanned multiple years on this blog.

Evil has been defeated and I have won. This victory was not just for me, but it was for everyone who’s ever been in this position.

This is a declaration to say you don’t have to just pay what they say. You pay what you say. It’s your life, you don’t have to take things lying down just because some official email tells you to.

You can write a blog about it and jump from SpongeBob references to Breaking Bad references all the way to Star Wars and Seinfeld references if you want. But you certainly don’t have to just pay what they say.

To anyone who says I’m being ridiculous across all three of these blogs: you’ve been broken by the American Healthcare System and the evil insurance and pharmaceutical companies that pull their strings from behind the curtain. We do not have to put up with their bullshit. Again, I don’t think the people who’re caring for folks in hospitals and saving lives are evil themselves, they’re the best of people. But they are used as pawns to deal with people like me in the grand scheme setup by these evil corporations so that those on top don’t have to answer my questions.

I mean, really, we have people who nearly bleed to death in the street wanting to call an Uber to the hospital instead of an ambulance or choose to not even go at all because it’ll be too expensive.

SpongeBob even made a reference to this:

But my full thoughts on that might just have to be a spinoff for another day…

For now, like all great trilogies, we end echoing the beginning. It’s like poetry, it rhymes:

Evil can always return. Disney might reboot my story 30 years from now. Who knows?

All I know is that I will be enjoying my victory while I can…

~DS