mental-health – The Danny Diaries

Doctor Wars Episode III: Return of My Money

A war that had been brewing silently for months has finally come to a head.

When I was writing my last blog about annoyances at the doctors offices and their billing processes, I didn’t know a third installment in this saga would come so soon.

The blog in question was the first time I’d ever written a sequel blog. Today, I bring you the third installment of what’s turned into a trilogy of epic proportions.

Star Wars, Back to the Future, The Lord of the Rings, and now: my ongoing battle with doctors hopefully concluded in this final installment:

EPISODE III: RETURN OF MY MONEY

The crazy eye doctor lady plays no part in this third installment. Thankfully, this story didn’t require any prayers.

The villain introduced in the last blog was the dentist and their billing process. It is them who I needed to defeat this time around.

To catch you up to speed: I got my wisdom teeth removed in August. Just before getting them removed, I had to talk down the oral surgeon from removing all four of my wisdom teeth because it was really only the bottom two that needed to come out. It was still going to cost me around $430 after insurance per tooth even after talking them down to just two teeth. I needed to checkout with Affirm to pay for my portion over time, but I did so and then the surgery occurred:

So months go by. I signed up with Affirm to make $75 per month payments for a year to pay off the surgery. Insurance confirmed the amount I had paid, paid their end, and then it was all about recovering and making the payments.

It was difficult dealing with my open mouth holes for a few weeks. I couldn’t have any real food for several days. My favorite thing to eat for breakfast (an everything bagel with cream cheese) was quite literally the very last thing I’d be able to eat.

But I persevered and am now fully recovered. However, the enemy was watching and waiting in silence. They knew exactly when to strike…

It was Christmas Eve.

A few short days following my best friend’s wedding and the Bears beating the Packers, I was running around the neighborhood making Christmas fudge deliveries for my mom.

My mom has THE best fudge recipe on the planet and it’s always a welcome Yuletide treat that’s shared in our home and in the homes of all our friends and loved ones.

Upon my return visiting old friends, I checked my phone to see that I had an email from the dentist saying that a new invoice had hit my account and that I owed another $150 from my surgery.

My heart sank and my temperature rose.

“FOR FUCKING WHAT?!” I said.

Apparently, my insurance policy max had been reached, but the insurance company was notified before the surgery what I was paying to ensure that they could cover it. I was baffled to believe that $150 had gone unaccounted.

I know I signed a bunch of bullshit saying that what I paid might not be a final amount, but the fact that they put a gun against my head before I got the procedure to pay the full estimated amount before I got anything done was pretty sketchy. Plus, now I owed more?

It felt like this:

I had taken out a loan with Affirm to pay for the procedure initially, so now the extra lollygagging charge pushed me past what my insurance could afford. And yes, $150 isn’t a crazy amount of money, but I still felt blindsided and wanted answers.

Since it was Christmas Eve and the day fell on a Wednesday, I would need to wait until Monday the 29th to call my insurance company to figure out what went on. So, I waited and enjoyed my Christmas…

After 4 to 6 days, I called my insurance company.

They were confused by this billing process and sent me a breakdown of what they were sent back in August following my procedure. It was for what the original cost estimation was sent to them, the same cost estimation that I based my Affirm loan on.

Both me and the insurance operator were very confused about where the $150 came from. They knew my policy was going to be maxed, but that was also based on the original estimated amount I owed. So we both felt like this:

It was time to go to war. A war that had been brewing silently for months had finally come to a head. The final straw was this smeckledorf billing job. I had to take action.

I tried to call the offices of my dentist initially, but since it was that weird work week in between Christmas and New Year’s, I didn’t reach anyone.

So, I wrote an email addressing all of my concerns. Here are the main points:

Why am I finding out about this nearly 5 months after the procedure?
The office manager sent me an email on July 14 saying I just needed to pay $802.30. I had to pay over time using Affirm and am still making payments for this procedure. Why wasn’t this cost given to me at the start?
When my insurance company was billed, the invoice didn’t match the original estimate/procedure cost. Why was my insurance overcharged unexpectedly and why wasn’t I notified about proper charges then? I called my insurance company and they were confused about this billing process as well.
This entire billing process is extremely misleading.
During the procedure, I had water splashed on my face and was awake during the second tooth extraction. Being charged extra for the anesthesia during surgery that I was awake for doesn’t make sense to me either.

I threw in the last bullet point because that was my declaration of war. If they could remember $150 after nearly 5 months, I could start remembering things from 5 months ago too.

I also didn’t make it up: I had water splashed on my face during the procedure which woke me from the anesthetic slumber and I was entirely awake for the second tooth extraction. I felt the clamp, I felt it break my tooth, and I felt them yank it out. While I was numb and couldn’t feel the pain of it, I still felt the uncomfortable pressure aspects of having your tooth yanked out.

So, I awaited my reply. Surely my declaration of war would ruffle some feathers and I would hear from them soon…

Flash forward to February: I still haven’t heard from them directly about my billing.

They’ve sent the same canned response about me owing $150 FIVE TIMES. To which I replied with the same questions I asked above FIVE TIMES.

They would not only send an email, but also send an accompanying text. This text and email both welcomed responses within the chains if I had any questions, but apparently not the questions I was asking. I’m curious if they would’ve replied sooner if I were asking these questions:

I tried the phone a couple of times as well, leaving voicemails each time, but it instructed me to also reach out by email, so it was just one big customer service loop nightmare.

In the fifth email, they threatened to send me to collections over $150.

I thought it was over. They had me dead to rights. Even though it wouldn’t be a criminal amount and despite it being a medical procedure, the billing company is some 3rd party company that would impact my credit score if I was sent to collections.

But, they slipped up. In the email threatening to send me to collections, they said “This is to notify you that you have an outstanding personal balance that is seriously past due and we have not received a response from you after multiple attempts.”

“NOT RECEIVED A RESPONSE FROM YOU”

It was my silver bullet. I had them cornered. It was time to send in my entire arsenal of pent up Irish anger that’s been boiling for generations.

Knowing I had phone records, texts, and emails with a paper trail, I was ready to call them out on their bullshit and go straight to a lawyer.

But because lawyers are expensive and Cicero’s own Saul Goodman isn’t available for my current predicament, I had to take this into my own hands.

I looked up what I could do before lawyering up and it appeared the best course of action was to “officially dispute” the bill. I didn’t know I could officially dispute anything, but as long as I disputed it in writing, it counts as an official dispute that would grant me legal protection in the hands of a collection agency if they proceeded with the billing while I was disputing it.

So, I sent them an email with the subject line:

FORMAL BILLING DISPUTE – REQUEST FOR CLEAR ITEMIZED EXPLANATION

This email laid out my original questions but instead of a polite “Thanks” to cap off the email, it ended with a threat of my own to contact the Illinois Attorney General’s Office, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, and the Better Business Bureau.

Now actually feeling like Saul Goodman, I felt like I needed to not only win, but hit them where they hurt as well:

Following the dispute email, I left negative reviews on their Google Business page, Facebook page, and on Yelp.

A review which you can find here and where you can also know exactly what dentist in Chicago I don’t recommend.

Following my review postings, they called me within minutes.

They apologized for the poor communication and the experience I had and waived the final $150. They asked if I’d consider taking down my reviews and I said I’d consider it.

I haven’t considered it for a second. It’s my trophy of victory. Being on the phone with them after months of bullshit and threats to my good name to collections truly felt like this:

Following the last few years of bullshit from medical professionals, I had won.

Misdiagnoses, prayer-and-scare tactics, nothing or cancer, being billed for nothing, being misled into taking out loans to pay for a procedure, having my insurance being fucked with. All of it led to this.

The war was finally over. My money was returned.

A Yub Nub celebration across the galaxy was in order for this victory and an end to a trilogy that spanned multiple years on this blog.

Evil has been defeated and I have won. This victory was not just for me, but it was for everyone who’s ever been in this position.

This is a declaration to say you don’t have to just pay what they say. You pay what you say. It’s your life, you don’t have to take things lying down just because some official email tells you to.

You can write a blog about it and jump from SpongeBob references to Breaking Bad references all the way to Star Wars and Seinfeld references if you want. But you certainly don’t have to just pay what they say.

To anyone who says I’m being ridiculous across all three of these blogs: you’ve been broken by the American Healthcare System and the evil insurance and pharmaceutical companies that pull their strings from behind the curtain. We do not have to put up with their bullshit. Again, I don’t think the people who’re caring for folks in hospitals and saving lives are evil themselves, they’re the best of people. But they are used as pawns to deal with people like me in the grand scheme setup by these evil corporations so that those on top don’t have to answer my questions.

I mean, really, we have people who nearly bleed to death in the street wanting to call an Uber to the hospital instead of an ambulance or choose to not even go at all because it’ll be too expensive.

SpongeBob even made a reference to this:

But my full thoughts on that might just have to be a spinoff for another day…

For now, like all great trilogies, we end echoing the beginning. It’s like poetry, it rhymes:

Evil can always return. Disney might reboot my story 30 years from now. Who knows?

All I know is that I will be enjoying my victory while I can…

~DS

Don’t Lose Sight of Your Light

Everyone still has the light they need. They just need to find it again in themselves and in others.

(Reading this blog might sound better if you let this song play while you’re reading it, but not required!)

It’s been a little longer than expected with my return to the blog.

The holiday season just makes everything crazy. Since my last blog was about the nostalgia of Halloween, I wanted to also talk about a similar topic around Christmas and New Year’s, but it’s a little different.

My blog last winter wasn’t too serious or introspective. It was about me being more susceptible to being shocked during this time of year. This point remains, but I wanted to share a few thoughts I have about recapturing your light in what seems to be an ever-darkening world.

We may be older and things may seem bleak, but we mustn’t lose sight of our light.

Kingdom Hearts II and the Nostalgia of Light

While the title and card photo of this blog are a Kingdom Hearts reference, that to me is my key into my point today.

For me, that game series is what keeps me grounded in life. It’s something I’ve carried with me from childhood that taught me how to grow up and how to hold onto a strong heart into adulthood because some of those lessons about light, darkness, and love are forever true.

Kingdom Hearts II, AKA The Greatest Video Game Ever Made, also just turned 20 years old a few days ago. I wish I had the time to wax poetic about that game fully, but I wanted to make sure this blog wasn’t actually flowery poetry, but rather, a lesson to carry with me into 2026.

Here’s my favorite YouTuber going over what this game turning 20 means better than I could:

Also, my first ever YouTube video that forayed into video game content creation was actually about Kingdom Hearts II‘s 10th Anniversary! Which is absolutely insane that I’ve been creating video game/nerd content on the internet for over 10 years, but once again, that’s not what this blog is about. HERE‘s that video if you wanted to hear me be awkward talking about how much I love that game.

…

OK so despite the KH2 tangent, this blog does have a point.

The series has kept me grounded, but sometimes, no matter how much a “My friends are my power” quote is said, life can just move at an alarming pace. With that pace can force droning and having blinders on to life as you skip from stone to stone of life’s important events.

It’s impossible to keep time from moving. However, it’s not impossible to take those blinders down and truly open your heart to what life has to offer and just simply find your light inside.

Since I’ve last written on this blog, my best friend got married and one of my other best friends got engaged. Thanksgiving and Christmas have come and gone. My Chicago Bears have won the NFC North and are playoff bound.

For each of these events, I felt like I got off the bus for a brief layover before having to step back on. It seems life just pulls you forward no matter what.

Light is in Learning

As we age and our brains become fully functioned, we learn less and we yearn more. It’s a natural part of life to feel like you can’t grow any more and that you’ve leveled up to LVL 99 in certain areas and you just have to keep capitalizing on that same experience, fighting the same Heartless and Nobodies, and hope for more content to be added.

Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result isn’t just the formula for insanity, but it’s also one of the many formulas for darkness.

People just accept that things aren’t what they once were and sulk on until these small pockets of celebrations to simply talk about what once was instead of creating new memories.

Feeling like today has nothing to offer while the times of yesteryear had everything is a bad way of thinking. It can be depressing. Sometimes, that depression is one that keeps people locked away for a long time.

While most of this reminiscing I covered in my Halloween blog, I wanted to make sure people have a tangible tactic to help restore their light whenever they want. Learning that is the first step toward the light.

One of the podcasts I’ve really been enjoying lately that’s helped me continue to hold onto my light is Alive with Steve Burns.

For those that don’t know, Steve Burns is Steve from Blue’s Clues:

The show’s premise is simple: Steve hosts life as if it’s Blue’s Clues which, it sort of is. But instead of learning about colors, numbers, emotions, etc., Steve talks with experts to try and simplify the bigger concepts that require bigger brains to try and understand: death, happiness, sex, money, etc.

Steve also does his patented pauses to allow you to have a conversation with him about these complex topics in the spots where you’d normally point out clues to him. He helps us learn new ways of looking at what might be considered burdens or awkward times in life, but make them feel like easier subjects to accept or think about as we carry ourselves forward.

It’s a neat show that makes me feel hugged, but also makes sure this kid in his Thinking Chair with his Handy Dandy Notebook feels heard in this crazy world about 25 years later:

Power in Play

One of the recent episodes of Alive felt perfect when I thought of the idea for this blog. In the episode titled Can We Survive Without Play?, Steve talks with Toy Designer, Writer, and Expert on Design Cas Holman about how play enriches our lives, reduces stress, and boosts happiness in a chaotic world.

They discuss what play is and how it feels like the older we get, the less possible we make playing due to societal circumstances and responsibilities. And despite my love for video games and gaming being a positive addiction, it’s not the kind of play Cas and Steve mean.

Things like playing Keep the Balloon up in the Air or hopping across the crosswalk without touching the unpainted street, or even doing a random chalk hopscotch on the sidewalk. These are all examples of play, which is basically finding the whimsy in the dreary. For that, you need the light inside to shine outside.

Steve’s final conversation to the listener breaks down what play for adults looks like at its core.

Play for Adults Begins with:

Releasing Judgment
Embracing Possibility
Reframing Success

Let’s take doing hopscotch on the sidewalk as an example: to do that, you need to forget about the judgment of those walking past seeing you do that. Light comes in many forms. The darkness that combats it is judgment or criticism from an outsider that’s forgotten what it’s like to live in the light. It also means, don’t judge others if you see them living in the light if you’re in a dark period.

Next, embracing the possibility of a task or goal. What’s the endgame for doing hopscotch? Well, you turned a child’s chalk drawing into communal fun. You strengthened your balance and got a little bit of conditioning. You also drew a smile to yourself, whoever you’re walking with, and even potentially the judgmental person who didn’t even think about doing the hopscotch. You also did something you probably haven’t done since you were a kid. All of this to say, all that was once possible is still possible if you allow yourself to do it.

Finally, reframing success is something that everybody needs to take on individually. To me, money, fame, power, etc. don’t mean success. To me, being the best friend, sibling, son, and employee I can be while smiling through it all is what success is for me. Being surrounded by friends and loved ones who care is my success. I’ve surrounded myself with people who aren’t surprised that I’d do hopscotch on the sidewalk and wouldn’t judge me for it either. We’re still near enough Christmas to reference It’s A Wonderful Life, so remember: No Man is A Failure Who Has Friends!

As always, it seems like these simple steps to achieving play or laughter or calling on your light are just that: simple. But if you take a look around the world we live in, it seems like a lot of the light has been swallowed up.

However, it’s on you to find that light. It’ll take reflection and time, but light can be found even in the darkest of places.

“It Must Take Incredible Strength”

We’re all human. We will all go through dark times, it’s part of what makes life challenging. However, we also have the tools to recover and bring out the light.

One of the best examples the Kingdom Hearts franchise taught me that I still carry, is that the world really isn’t sunshine, rainbows, and Disney characters to get us through it. It embraces the pain of being human and that a heart is more than just joy and happiness, it’s everything else as well. Watch this before we wrap this up:

Arguably the best villain in the franchise first introduced 20 years ago in Kingdom Hearts II is Xemnas. Xemnas is a Nobody and was the leader of the original Organization XIII. In the series, Nobodies are the empty bodies leftover from those whose hearts have been lost to darkness.

Part of Xemnas’ struggle as a Nobody is to recapture hearts in order to make himself feel whole again. Basically a complex version of “if I can’t be happy, nobody can be until I can feel it again.”

But in the above video of his death in Kingdom Hearts III, we’re reminded that a heart isn’t just joy and happiness. It’s full of all kinds of feelings, including pain, rage, and sadness. And it takes incredible strength to carry all of those emotions with you on your journey.

The pain, rage, and sadness are reminders of the happiness and joy we once felt changing. But, they aren’t gone forever, they just look different now.

If a friend passes away, we cry because we can’t see them or talk to them again. Death is sad because new memories with that person can’t be made.

However, it isn’t how often we see one another that matters, it’s how often we think of one another. That goes for friends and loved ones that have passed on or for friends that live across the country.

Time is a funny thing. We all wish we had more of it but we don’t. But what we do have is the time to reflect and think about all the friends and loved ones that make our hearts full.

Every version of you has been built around choices you’ve made, friends and family that supported you along the way, and the outcome of your hardships.

The you that’s here now might not look the same as they were 20 years ago, however, the light you had then is still the light you have now. You’ve just given that light extra layers of protection to save yourself from the judgment of others or felt that there was no real purpose to having random fun anymore.

Life still has all the opportunities for you to have fun. You don’t have to get back on the bus in between life’s big moments. You can choose to hopscotch there if you’d like.

Darkness comes in many forms but so does light.

Onward

(Now play this song as we finish things out!)

We’ve tackled a very complex topic today and I felt it was the perfect one to enter 2026 with.

Sometimes, it takes small reminders to remember what makes us happy. That’s ok. Despite having learned all the lessons I’ve written about, there will still be times where I feel like the light has gone extremely dim.

But when I call on the memories of friends or I see a ball to bounce or a can to kick, I can let the light shine through. And yes, even though playing Kingdom Hearts isn’t one of the forms of play that can locate that whimsy, the series’ everlasting themes of love, friendship, and light are helpful for me to keep that light shining.

So please enter the New Year with your light or at least arm yourself with the tools necessary to find that light. Don’t judge and do release your fears of being judged. Set yourself small goals and big ones with the purpose of making yourself and the others around you feel the light of what can be possible. And finally, remember that success might not be what you think it is – you might already have it.

Even if you feel like your light is lost, asking others for help isn’t a sign of weakness. Your friends are your power and you are theirs. Make sure when you call out and hope for an answer, that you pick up when those call looking for an answer as well.

Everyone still has the light they need. They just need to find it again in themselves and in others.

Have a wonderful 2026 and Keep Your Light Burning Strong!

~DS