The winds of change have finally arrived.
It’s always a bittersweet feeling when a summer ends and a fall begins. While football, bonfire, sweater, and beer season begins, it’s sad to look back upon another summer over.
The summer is no friend to me. As I said in my last blog, I haven’t been as big of a fan of the summer as I was in my youth when it meant school was out. Now it just means normal life, but sweating.
Regardless, it’s finally time for the fall. My favorite time of the year.
I’ve always said that I have reverse seasonal affective disorder. When others get upset by less sunlight and colder weather, I’m the opposite. The fall is just my season.
As an enjoyer of football, fall leaves, flannels, jeans, boots, bonfires, and rotting on a pub stool for hours on end, this is the perfect time to do so. I find peace in it. Even if it brings a little rain.
I wanted to share this story when the time was right. Considering my last blog was all about a train ride, I didn’t want to make this entire blog about a train ride, but rather, an example to my overall point to writing this.
So, earlier this week, I took a train commute into the city for work. I was awake bright and early before the sun on a dark, rainy Monday morning. Wearing a light jacket and jeans, feeling more joyful than almost anyone ever could on a rainy Monday morning on their way to work.
Not only was I feeling joy at getting to wear my fall gear, I was feeling joy because I felt alone in my joy. Who else was feeling this joy this early on a Monday morning? I’d wager nobody.
I’ve recently picked back up on my audiobook journey through Middle Earth in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring and that is what backdropped my morning commute that was already off to an abnormally joyful start in society’s case.
Andy Serkis is the narrator for the latest audio book version and he does a masterful job at bringing Tolkien’s world to life. As I boarded the train and went to my car, there was almost nobody on it. It was perfect.
My joyful internal solitude could further be enjoyed with more external solitude. I put my bag on the seat next to me, slouched in my very own seat, rested my head against the cool window, and closed my eyes enjoying the sound of the train rumbling over the tracks with rain pattering against the window.
With Serkis’ narration along with the sounds, I was transported to Middle Earth in my solitude. With the comfort of my internal and external lonesome and a good story to backdrop it, I found peace there in what is normally, not a peaceful time.
Eventually, the peace had to be disturbed, but I felt more relaxed on a Monday more than I ever have.
The reason why I’m writing about the perfect amount of solitude is I believe the Fall season is the perfect time to appreciate it. I’m enjoying my Fall by writing, both at work and here on this blog listening to the following fall vibes soundtracks:
Following a summer full of hangouts, ballgames, dates, and family parties, and before a holiday season full of hectic schedules, family time, and more, the fall is really the only season you get to enjoy that solitude.
Spring is a close second, but spring has this pre-summer excitement quality about it that the Fall doesn’t. That’s what makes the Fall much more enjoyable.
There doesn’t seem to be a rush to get anywhere, rather, just a brief moment in time to just sit, breathe, and enjoy life as it’s moving along.
Halloween is my favorite holiday. I enjoy dressing up, eating candy without judgement, and hanging out with my friends; it’s the buildup to that social gathering that makes this alone time during the fall even more special.
While I already look back upon my peaceful Monday and as I look forward to Halloween, I want to speak now to the peace that is being alone.
Being alone is not a bad thing. A lot of the time, people confuse being alone with the feeling of loneliness. They are not the same at all.
Loneliness is a horrible feeling. Loneliness is feeling like you have no where or no one to turn to. Being alone is not that. Being alone is the bubble of “me time” you’ve earned in between time spent with loved ones.
I frequent concerts, baseball games, trips, expos and conventions, and movies by myself a decent amount. There’s a certain peace to it but also, I think it makes an experience more meaningful at times.
Yes, life in most cases is better with others than it is by yourself. However, when you go to the movies alone, you don’t have to worry about other people’s schedules or whether or not they want popcorn, it’s up to you and you alone! You can sit in whatever seat you’d like without worrying about anyone else’s preferences. It’s just more relaxing than having to figure out plans with someone else.
You’re on your own wavelength and you can operate with your own thoughts and beliefs without worrying about someone else’s opinion or feelings changing or bogging down what you might think about the movie, concert, experience, or whatever it is.
Don’t get me wrong: my friends and my family are the most important things in my life. I am who I am because of them. Spending time with the people I care about is my favorite thing in the world to do and when I do get that feeling of loneliness, I know it won’t last long because I have so many great people to rely on that give me strength when I’m weakest.
But, it is because of that fact that I enjoy my alone time so much as well. It makes me appreciate my friends and family more. They’re with me in my alone time in a certain way, and that’s what makes the alone time better. It’s a small portal between interactions with my loved ones that makes the interactions more special.
If you are feeling lonely, then lean into those that make you feel like you’re not. I know it’s easier said than done: the peace I’ve been able to find in being alone hasn’t always been there. I used to tie being alone with loneliness a lot. It’s not healthy. And if you don’t feel like you have that, then give me a call. I’d be happy to help you find that peace.
I felt like writing this blog would help me arrange my thoughts. I am, in fact, alone, at peace with my thoughts, and have never felt more confident in my ability to describe how I’m feeling.
It’s the wind outside. The warm tea in my mug. The leaves changing. The happy memories of summer fading away. The eagerness of the Halloween holiday as a portal to the winter togetherness with family and loved ones. This moment right just now was carved for me to do this thinking, reminiscing, and smiling.
While there are things to frown about, and the winter along with another new year is creeping, it’s this peace of fall that has me as relaxed as I can be. I feel as peaceful as a Hobbit in the Shire that is happily between adventures. And before I close, enjoy this peaceful Shire ambience that helped me write this:
Time is fleeting. It always moves by us faster than we can even comprehend. Days can sometimes feel like weeks. Weeks can sometimes feel like seconds. Seconds can sometimes feel like years if you want them to.
Before you know it, the moments you’re experiencing now will be the stories of tomorrow. You’ll probably never share the stories of your time spent alone, which is why it is important to spend some time alone. Keep that for yourself.
When you do that, you’ll appreciate the time spent with loved ones so much more. I promise. It’ll make your stories from the time spent with them better as well, because you’ll be speaking from a place where all the time spent enjoying the moment, both alone and not, will be the soul of your stories.
Enjoy your alone time. Enjoy your time with loved ones. Each little moment is important to who you are.
~ DS
The Danny Diaries 